Tainted Lilies
by Team Rebel
Summary: "There was Miss Hungary, watching two men on a screen. And not just two men. Two naked men. And not just any two naked men. Switzerland and Austria." Was Liechtenstein seeing what she thought she was seeing? Yes. She was.


"Liechtenstein!" The Swiss man called to his younger sister. "Liechtenstein, come here," he said sternly.

The little blonde looked up and immediately found her place by her brother's side – not that he was far away to begin with. "Yes, big brother?"

He sighed. "Liechtenstein, what have I told you about expensive cheese?" He pointed to the imported dairy product in her hand. "Put that back."

"Okay," she said sweetly, trotting off to put the relatively expensive item back.

Silently, the man wished he had enough to buy jut one pack of good cheese for his adopted sibling – but he had to eat, too, at some point. And he couldn't afford to feed his sister and himself with the price of that cheese.

A bespectacled composer strode up – in a rather pretentious manner – to stand by his former ally and friend. "Still being cheap, I see," the Austrian muttered.

Switzerland turned to him, slightly astonished. "I like the taste better!" he exclaimed rather defensively.

"Austria!" scolded his wife, as she too, soon appeared. "Austria, leave him be." The Hungarian turned to the blond. "I am terribly sorry for his behavior," she apologized quickly.

"Who is this?" asked Liechtenstein, who had just reappeared by her big brother. She stood on her tip-toes to whisper in his ear. "She's really pretty."

Of course, the young nation was not as quiet as she thought she had been, and Hungary laughed. "You are so sweet!" she said, smiling. "I am Hungary."

The little girl blushed, embarrassed. "Hello, Miss Hungary."

"You must be Liechtenstein! I've heard that you are very sweet. Mister Austria told me that you were very polite when you visited for lunch – hey!" The brunette's eyes lit up. "Would you two like to have lunch with us tomorrow?" She started to bounce a little in place.

Austria's expression turned to one of alarm.

"I don't-" the Swiss man started. Then he glanced towards the Austrian's shopping cart. Fancy cheese… He sighed. "We would love to, Hungary. Liechtenstein, say thank you."

"Thank you, Miss Hungary and Mister Austria," she said bashfully.

"Until tomorrow!" Hungary chimed, making a beeline for the queue. Austria followed suit, and Switzerland knew for sure there would be much bickering tonight. Once was enough for Austria. The Swiss man was sure of that.

* * *

"Hungary, why did you invite them?" inquired the Austrian to his wife the next day around eleven. "Why?" The second "why" was a little more demanding.

Hungary sighed as she placed the food on the table. "Liechtenstein doesn't get to have many friendly encounters with other nations. You know that, Austria," she huffed. "She's a very nice girl. If you can't put up with Switzerland, then at least _try_ to put up with Liechtenstein."

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," sighed the Austrian.

"Play nice," chided Hungary.

Without responding, the Austrian rushed to the door, but opened it slowly. He noticed the pair before him was dressed unusually formally. A little like… Austria.

Hungary must have noticed it, too, because she could be hard laughing in the dining room.

"Liechtenstein has been practicing sewing," explained Switzerland in a flat tone. He stepped in, his sister following right behind, with her hand in his.

Austria ushered them to the table.

"Shall we eat?" suggested Hungary, not wanting there to be a dull moment.

"Yes… shall we?" An unfamiliar voice came from the pantry.

Liechtenstein gripped her brother's hand tightly. "Brother what is that? Is that a ghost? Is Austria's house haunted?"

"Only by a nuisance," muttered Hungary. She strode over to the stove and grabbed her pan. Then, she found her way to the pantry, standing just beside it. "Come out, Prussia," she said angrily.

The narcissist made his grand entrance, opening to pantry door with much gusto… only to be hit in the vital regions by Hungary's frying pan. He fell to the ground. "You haven't changed much…." he managed to say through gritted teeth.

Switzerland stood up, enraged. "My sister could have been hurt!" he shouted to nobody in particular. "We are leaving."

"No!" shouted the Hungarian woman. "Please, stay here with Austria!" She made her way to the Prussian, pulling him into the large living room. "What do you think you are doing?" she huffed. "You are going to scare Liechtenstein!"

Still on the ground, the Prussian grinned through the pain. "I came to meet the girl, not scare her," he said, rolling onto his knees. He looked up at his childhood friend. "I'll make a deal with you," he said, pulling out a labelled tape from his shirt. "I think you will find it… satisfactory."

The label read "Yaoi."

Seeing this, the Hungarian woman helped Prussia to stand up. "I am listening."

"Let me stay," he offered, "and you get to keep the tape!"

Hungary sighed. "Okay. Go sit down. I want to see if this is for real." She shoved him in the direction of the kitchen.

Prussia soon found himself in Hungary's seat at the table. "She's looking over something," he explained.

"Liechtenstein, go see Miss Hungary," ordered Switzerland.

The younger nation stood up. "Yes, big brother!" she exclaimed cheerily. She trotted into the living room, and gasped at what she saw.

There was Miss Hungary, watching two men on a screen.

And not just two men.

Two _naked_ men.

And not just any two naked men.

Switzerland and Austria.

Hungary's eyes widened when she saw Liechtenstein's confused expression.

"What are they doing?" she asked innocently.

"They're.. ummm… hasn't your big brother talked to you about this?"

"About what?" she queried, tilting her head to the side.

"SWITZERLAND!" Hungary called.

The man suddenly appeared, shotgun in hand.

"IS LIECHTENST-"

He, too, noticed the screen.

"Sit down, Switzerland. Your sister has some questions."

She turned off the TV.

"Switzerland, she doesn't understand… the birds and the bees."

"Of course she doesn't!" he growled. "She's not old enough!"

"She's old enough!" Hungary frowned. "You need to talk to her."

"Okay," he agreed reluctantly, turning to his little sister. "When two people love each other, Liechtenstein, they dance. That's what we were doing."

"Not like that!" gasped Hungary. "You see, when two people get the hots for each other, like your brother and my husband did-"

"NOT LIKE THAT!" he shouted.

With that, the Prussian entered the room gleefully. "You see, young Liechtenstein, when two people decide to do it, they do it. They fuck."

Austria appeared behind the Prussian, Hungary's frying pan in hand. He hit the albino over the head with much joy. "We do not use language like that in my home!" he said angrily.

"I think it is best that we go," said the Switzerland, taking his sister by the hand. "Goodbye, Hungary, Austria. I do not think we will be stopping by any time soon." And with that he led his sister out of the door.

He shook his head. "Liechtenstein… do you have any question about anything that just happened?"

"Just one, Swissy!"

The man silently groaned. "What is it?"

"What does it mean? Fuck?"

"You'll learn when you get older.

Still holding her hand, he brought her home. And later that night, he went back to Austria's house. And this time, Hungary got a live show.


End file.
